BARACK OBAMA

POISONING PARADISE   ©

by Norman Liebmann

Barack Obama has turned America into Bangladesh. It could be worse. He could have turned it into Chicago.

Obama is on another surrender bender. Either that or the dismantling of the Missile Shield in Eastern Europe must be Obama’s idea of a Polish joke.

Obama seems convinced that in weakness there is strength. Obama is half white, half black, and all yellow. He is a eunuch who wants to castrate America into his own image. Eventually Obama will get his picture on the cover of the Even Yellower Pages.

Obama is the world’s number one anti-Semite. He probably would have ratted out Anne Frank to the Gestapo.

Had he anticipated Barack Obama, Lincoln would have called his document the Eradication Proclamation.

Affirmative action is a program that ordains that everyone has a right to go to college and study something for which they have absolutely no aptitude and intends to remain that way.

Let’s face it. The purpose of the Obama Health Plan is to get you to put your money where your bowels are. The elderly already know Obama’s intention is to turn Medicare into Deadicare. Eventually, Obamacare will allow physicians to perform human sacrifices on the elderly if requested by the nearest immediate heir.

Is Obama gradually sweet-talking Bill O’Reilly into becoming either a soft-core fascist or (his favorite word) just a Pecksniffian?

Plunging ratings in the United States may encourage Obama to set up another office in the United Nations where his treason to the United States is less apparent. Obama’s speech at the UN earned him high praise from Libyan leader, “Khadaffy Duck”. Don’t let it go to your head, Barack.

Attorney General Eric Holder looks like a balding rottweiler. He is one mean “muther”, too.

Black Diversity Czar Mark Lloyd says Caucasians must be forced to step aside so “someone else” can take power. Lloyd is good reason to believe that Abraham Lincoln mistakenly abolished slavery when he was actually trying to abolish the Negroes.

Prostitutes have a name for some Democrat politicians. They call them “customers”.

Walter Cronkite died without knowing he was overrated. Sometimes even your best friends won’t tell you. (Maybe they’ll etch it on his tombstone.)

Prince “Klutz” of Wales says people have to abandon automobiles. We already do this. It’s called “parking”. (Prince Charles is the guy whose keen judgment led him to dump Princess Diana for Camilla Parker Bowles, a lady who looks all day the way she does in the morning.)

Are carbon emissions the stuff with which Obama’s father inseminated Obama’s mother? Or are carbon emissions the secret ingredient in sho’tnin’ bread?

The real problem with modern day racists is that they lack the courage of their convictions.

Joe Biden can’t find his zipper without a Global Positioning Device. The rumor is Biden once had a brain transplant. He must have been the donor.

The blacks chauvinistically claim the human race started in Africa a million years ago, which is not a big trick when you consider Africa has nothing but races. Blacks seem to contend that racism started in America – probably last Tuesday. Actually, the Arabs invented the slave trade. Why is it black folks have trouble buying that?

Jimmy Carter’s Habitat for Humanity aim is to build more foreclosable housing. Carter is senility on a shingle.

Is there a new kind of flu headed for the Inner City called Sickle Swine Anemia?

Barack Obama should be made to screw everyone of those fat ugly Acorn broads. After all, he made them what they are.

The greatest scientific achievement of the Obama Administration is a light bulb that looks like it can be screwed in at either end – but can’t.

Obama told David Letterman he was black before the election. What make him think it wasn’t noticeable? Along those lines, Letterman is about as humorous as a burning orphanage. That too is noticeable.

Black geneticists are working on the theory that whatever part of a person is white, sooner or later the rest of him will catch up with it. Is it possible that “H” does not stand for Hussein? It stands for Hybrid?

The government admitted The Stimulus didn’t work. Maybe it needed a different stimulator.

I was never quite sure what the expression “the quality of life” meant until Obama ruined it for everybody. Obama wants to put the American economy through a shredder and the American culture through a Mixmaster. First he will have to be able to determine which is which.

Obama’s smile is a slightly less genuine than a hyena’s ability to laugh without understanding the joke.

Obama wants to bail out the newspapers. He may start by deleting the Want Ads. He’s already deleted the jobs. (In case you’re wondering what it is that newspaper editors do - they hire writers to write what they would have written if they could write.)

Obama is a man of two races and I wouldn’t want my sister to marry into either one of them.

We should put a time lock on the U.S. Treasury and set it for 2012.

Worse than “birthers” and “truthers” are politicians like Nancy Pelosi who could be called “mouthers”.

Russia wisely kept its presence in Africa to a minimum. You don’t see any Cossack safaris.

Homosexuality is depravity. Lesbianism is entertainment. This is true even in San Francisco.

Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner assures Americans the economy will improve once he works the bugs into it.

Obama’s political promises stand up about as well as Bill Clinton’s marriage vows. Incidentally, Bubba has a new approach to global warming. He may visit the Dallas Cowgirls and offer to warm their globes for them.  [Note: Clinton has been asked to make a donation of his sperm. He decided against it when he found out the invitation did not come from a sperm bank, but from a bait shop.]

After meeting the average Egyptian, you would suspect that the pyramids were not built, but simply accumulated.

Nancy Pelosi has been consulting the dictionary. Someone called her a “crunt”.

Obama wants to designate part of his Health Plan to homosexuals and call it Mediqueer. The 2010 Census will wrestle with the question of when does a minority cease to be a population and become an infestation? If nothing else, the Census will settle the question of whether or not anyone cares if gays are allowed to say “I do” when everybody knows they already did.

Obama has sold out Poland because he no longer has to cater to that large Polish population in Chicago – but he will continue to cater to Chicago’s large criminal population. (Rod Blogejovich’s can claim membership in both.)

The Obama Administration’s mission it to close the gap between indignity and poverty.

Obama is having his speeches re-written in Ebonics. He doesn’t need a teleprompter. He could read his speeches off a pooper scooper.

Hillary Clinton’s has a knack for making her mistakes look like mistakes. It’s easy when you don’t know what you’re doing.

To paraphrase a well-known proverb, “Big traitors from little Acorns grow”.

If Michele Obama’s backside gets any more prodigious she will need a set of curb feelers to make it through the front door of the White House. The artsy-craftsy community considers Michele Obama to be a work of art. They are convinced that Da Vinci could have done her smile and Picasso certainly could have done her ass. (Incidentally, how does Michelle manage to listen to Barack’s speeches? Even Mozart’s wife could stand listening to just so much Mozart.

When will the Civil Rights Movement contribute something to America besides victims?

People are starting to explain Obama’s failures by saying he is a black cat that keeps crossing his own path.

Before he leaves Washington, Senator Arlen Specter will leave no ass unkissed.

After his speech at the United Nations, it became apparent that Obama would have become a traitor to America irrespective of what color he was born.

Will Obama’s next move is to underwrite America’s graffiti artists?

Is the unpleasant prevailing aroma due to a weather anomaly that suggests Harvard and Hyannis Port are both downwind of each other?

Will the NRA have to distribute arms to Caucasians who ride buses? It is significant that no white people on a bus ever beat up Rosa Parks.

And this …

It might be argued that Barack Obama deserves some respect. After all, he is the Prickident of the United States of America.

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