IMHO (in my humble opinion) INTO THE BREACH ©

by Norman Liebmann

In my humble opinion, if John Kerry had been elected our first President instead of George Washington, Beacon Hill would be a suburb of Liverpool.

In my humble opinion, motion pictures in America will be immeasurably improved if Alec Baldwin decides to make the transition to silent movies.

In my humble opinion, anyone who believes everyone has a right to an opinion never met Arlen Specter.

In my humble opinion, Elton John is living proof that when gays emerge from the closet, there is someplace to go that is further than just "out."

In my humble opinion, bad-mouthing God didn’t help the Democrats win the election.

In my humble opinion, people in the Third World do not consider any food

junk food.

In my humble opinion, in honor of its premier degenerate, Bill Clinton, Democrats should call themselves the Degenocratic Party.

In my humble opinion, Madeleine Albright uses a perfume called Mildew No. 5.

In my humble opinion, the next television commentator who uses that tiresome cliché “step up to the plate” should be urged to step off The Golden Gate Bridge - without a bungee cord.

In my humble opinion, it is amazing that Kerry was able to lose the election without the endorsement from Trent Lott.

In my humble opinion, Chelsea Clinton grew up to be exactly what she used to be - and deserves it.

In my humble opinion, had he won the election, John Kerry would have renamed Pearl Harbor Day as “We Were Asking for It Day”.

In my humble opinion, the sure way to get away with murder is to be able to shoot baskets successfully from outside the three-point “crime scene” tape.

In my humble opinion, intellectually, the Palestinian Age hasn’t quite caught up with the Pleistocene Age.

In my humble opinion, Jeff Birnbaum’s thoughts are so pallid and irresolute they have been known to dilute water.

In my humble opinion, there is no military victory so trivial that France’s not-ready-to-rumble army cannot render it hollow. Could be the French are best remembered during World War ll for their underground because they fought more like moles than like men.

In my humble opinion, the Arabs’ biggest hoax is that of “the holy city.” The fact is, one urban slum full of turbaned fanatics is no holier than any other urban slum full of turbaned fanatics.

In my humble opinion, it did not seem possible that, in John Kerry, the Democrats found a more unconscionable traitor to be their champion than Bill Clinton – but America voted accordingly.

In my humble opinion, Fallujah is the Arab name for Tijuana.

In my humble opinion, San Francisco is one place where the circus never leaves town.

In my humble opinion, John McCain’s years in the Hanoi Hilton and the U.S. Senate didn’t do much to mellow him.

In my humble opinion, after rescuing this nation from a John Kerry Presidency, the Viet Nam veterans proved you can get to Heaven just as easily in a swift boat as you can in that Golden Chariot.

In my humble opinion, Al Sharpton wouldn’t have looked right to be President.  Let’s face it - he’s just too oval for the office.

In my humble opinion, George W. Bush hasn’t figured out that compassion contains dangerous levels of sweetness and light, which also causes diabetes and glaucoma.

In my humble opinion, it’s likely if you mated Helen Thomas with a wart hog they would produce another Michael Moore, proving again, those mixed marriages never work out.

In my humble opinion, a better description of the mainstream media would be
the jackal press in that they seem to thrive on rumors, carrion and vodka martinis.

In my humble opinion, now that Harvard is so steeped in Affirmative Action, shouldn’t they offer a course in Hip Hop 101?

In my humble opinion, the difference between Hillary Rodham Clinton and Teresa Heinz Kerry is Hillary uses turpentine as a cologne, Teresa uses it as a douche.

In my humble opinion, had there been a Kerry Administration, he would have expanded welfare benefits to include breastfeeding.

In my humble opinion, the next major cause Jesse Jackson will take up will be Pimps’ Rights.

In my humble opinion, 7/Eleven stores seem to be conveniently located near all holdups.

In my humble opinion, California will remain a vassal state until it gets rid of those two over-the-hill yenta mannequins in the Senate - Boxer and Feinstein. Their adoration of Bill Clinton was the equivalent of Jews in Nazi Germany falling in love with barbed wire. Baffling.

In my humble opinion, the UN has become the world’s cat box. It is time to end the reign of Kofi Annan. After decades as the Screwball General of the United Nations promising to alleviate world starvation, there is still no word in the Sudanese language for “lunch.”

In my humble opinion, when you think about it, losing the election was another one of John Kerry’s wounds that were self-inflicted.

In my humble opinion, the power of the press reposes not in what it can disseminate, but in what it can suppress.

In my humble opinion, someone among Garrison Keillor’s antecedents had been hitting the Thalidomide.

In my humble opinion, Martha Stewart asking for donations to help pay her legal bills falls into the category of thermonuclear chutzpa.

In my humble opinion, just because you’re on welfare doesn’t mean you’re also entitled to be a pain in the ass. You have to go to Canada for that.

In my humble opinion, if John Kerry had been in the cavalry, he’d be in front of a Senate Committee “ratting out” his horse.

In my humble opinion, secularists have determined that belief in God is immoral, and have determined that religious people should not be able to proselytize, but atheists should.

In my humble opinion, grade inflation, social promotion, and bad toilet etiquette are keeping Evolution marking time in the inner cities.

In my humble opinion, it doesn’t surprise me to know John Kerry’s picture is on a wall in Hanoi anymore than it surprises me that Ho Chi Minh’s picture is on a wall at Yale.

In my humble opinion, considering the state of justice in America, the indications are Satan’s never figured a way to get out of doing jury duty.

In my humble opinion, how come Yasser Arafat succumbed to brain death, while Juan Williams has learned to live with it?

In my humble opinion, the Congressional Black Caucus has succeeded in getting the rest of the American people to hate the poor. I didn’t think that was possible.

In my humble opinion, the Republicans’ morality, no matter how excessive, is better than the Democrats who have no morality at all.

and …

In my humble opinion, by now, everybody should be thoroughly pissed off with television commentators who relentlessly refer to “the little people”. There are no little people – just little journalists.

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